Posted on 03/20/2022 7:46:43 PM PDT by Jonty30
He's still got it at 96 years of age.
How Many Christian Men Are Sexually Safe Husbands?
How many Christian husbands see sex in a healthy way?
We know that sexual sin, and porn use, and objectification of women are rampant. But it’s not everywhere. So how many guys aren’t affected by this?
In February and March I’m posting several “number of the day” updates, where we share a nugget from our surveys of 25,000 men and women. We’ve looked at foreplay problems; how many men actually lust; how many people have sex but don’t feel close; and more.
As I was getting ready to do this series, we asked our patrons what questions they’d want to know. And one woman piped up and asked, “how many guys are actually safe?”
Great question! But then we had to figure out how to measure it.
Joanna and I thought about a couple of scenarios, and we decided to look for men who fit this criteria:
Our Criteria for Men Who Are Sexually Safe
He doesn’t watch porn
He doesn’t choose a lustful option in any of the potentially lustful situations we presented
He doesn’t believe the obligation sex message (so he doesn’t believe he’s entitled to his wife’s body)
He makes his wife’s pleasure a priority
We could have chosen other things–like whether or not his wife reached orgasm, but that one is not entirely dependent on him. She may not reach orgasm because of sexual trauma or some of the things she’s internalized (quite common, as we found in The Great Sex Rescue). So we decided to stick to these four markers.
We could have chosen other things–like whether or not his wife reached orgasm, but that one is not entirely dependent on him. She may not reach orgasm because of sexual trauma or some of the things she’s internalized (quite common, as we found in The Great Sex Rescue). So we decided to stick to these four markers.
And when you run that data, here what we find:
33.7%
Okay, so that’s rather sobering, isn’t it?
Only a third of Christian husbands would fall into our sexually safe categories.
This is largely because 49.6% of men use porn in some way today, so that takes out half of men right from the start. But there’s also a significant number of men who don’t use porn but who still objectify women, either by believing they are entitled to sex; lusting after other women; or acting as if sex is all about them.
Let me repeat that–the problems all boil down to seeing women as objects.
All of our criteria objectify women in some way. Either a guy is using porn, which means he’s consuming images of women for his own gratification, or he’s treating his wife and the women around him as objects who exist for his gratification.
I’ve seen that on the divorce site I’m a member of.
Yes, I can see why.
I’ve never been divorced.
Do you think it’s reasonable that the husband be punished within the marriage for other people’s wrongs?
Another think I learned, when the husband acts the role of the sacrificial husband, willing to respect his wife’s sexuality to help her heal, there is almost 100% chance that she will have an affair on him with a man who doesn’t respect her and she will do things with him that she completely denies her husband.
She hasn’t stopped being sexual, but just with him.
I’m not being narcissistic, but realistic. I’ve learned much about how women operate in the real world and they don’t operate in a Biblical manner, I will tell you that much.
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