How do you know? It's not like you can read.

Bill Gates and Apple have teamed up with Soros and
Jeffy Epsteen and provided me with a handy-dandy
text-to-speech program, as a reward for all my Satanic Elitist
promotion and secret.. well.. secret stuff. I ain't supposed to tell.
So I don't need to do no readin' nor cipherin'.