Replies

When I was teaching in NYC, I had mixed feelings about parent-teacher nights. It was generally the better students' parents who showed up, those parents I least needed to speak with. And that made perfect sense--these were the involved parents, and their efforts were reflected in their kids' better behavior and academic achievement. The attendance at these conferences by the parent-or-guardian (usually not a parent, usually a foster parent, grandparent or even sibling) of the low achieving and/or poorly behaved or non-attending students was sparse.

I would make sure my classroom was tidy, that student work was displayed (I had an "honor wall" for excellent work), and that obscene graffiti was removed from desks (shaving cream worked REALLY well and smelled good, too). I had my Excel spreadsheets ready to show how I derived the kids' grades, and that a tempting plate of cookies was placed on my desk as an icebreaker. Most of the meetings with parents-or-guardians went without incident and hopefully a positive outcome resulted. But there were exceptions, and these almost always involved a black parent-or-guardian crossing the line of respectful behavior toward me. Instead of politely discussing the shortcomings of their student and listening to my suggestions of how they could improve their grade, they would start to bellow various defenses of their student and accusations at me. Other parents waiting their turn were appalled. If a parent was acting out, I would not put up with it and I would politely suggest that they reschedule our conference at a future date when they were feeling better, and usher them out of the classroom. Thank G-d no one pulled a gun on me. These days, I'd be surprised not to hear of this happening frequently.