The difference here in the U.S. (as it used to be) is that when we are born, we are raised to think of ourselves as dependent on our parents and families first, until we gain adulthood. We used to never think of the government as being our “family” or who was looking out for us and raising us, and training us.
In Communist countries, it’s the opposite. The government is who raises you and who provides for you. The people have no autonomy from the government.
Its fundamentally a matter of the government being bigger than the people. Been true in Russia for a long time but we’re basically there ourselves now.
Where you have big government the people are small, and vice versa.