The manosphere says that you have to be an "Alpha" to pull a woman. Fair enough. The act doesn't last though. But it works if you want to pick up chicks.
The objective is to not have it be just an "act", but rather to change your behavior and mental outlook, to strive to improve yourself.
In order to successfully improve yourself, you have to understand what IS an improvement, and what is not. You need to get straight for yourself what actually accomplishes turning yourself into a strong, confident man, not so more women might like you, but because it is worth doing as an end in itself.
In ages past, young men were tutored in the arts of being a man by the older men. In these days of divorce and female-dominated schooling, it's a harder task.