Except it wasn’t a joke. It was an off-the-cuff comment that based on your defense of it hit pretty close to home. So, either you meant it—which is bad, or you have no control over your ghoulish thoughts steaming right down your arms to your fingertips.
Just WOW is all I can say. You are mentally ill in the head. The lack of self awareness and blindness and hypocrisy is off the charts. Get help!