Nurse asked if wanted some "magazines".
Crystal responded: "Are you kidding, all through Highschool I carried a picture of my hand, in my wallet."
An old guy who never married or had children decides his only hope of passing on his genes is to make a deposit at a sperm bank. He makes an appointment and arrives to make his deposit.
The receptionist gives him a cup and some worn magazines and tells him to bring his sample to the desk when he’s ready.
The moment the door closes the staff hears what sounds like an energetic struggle from the room. “Ugh! Hrumph! Urgh! Ahh! Urh! Ahh! Hmmn!...” This goes on for several minutes and heavy breathing can be heard in the clinic. Eventually the staff grows concerned and calls the nurse to knock and ask if he’s all right.
“Sir, are you ok in there?” she asks.
The door opens a crack and the old guy reaches out and says, “Can you please take the cap off the bottle?”