Posted on 01/24/2022 11:38:25 PM PST by nickcarraway
We have reached a dangerous crossroads. Cold pizza has landed in New Jersey as a thing.
Now before my time, there was some guy I read about in the history books named Barry Goldwater. Some didn’t know what to make of this politician because he was quite liberal on social issues like gays serving openly in the military, legalization of medicinal marijuana, abortion rights and environmental protection. On the other hand he reformed his Republican Party in a conservative way that set the path for the Reagan Revolution.
I’m like that in a lot of ways. On money and spending and taxes, on criminal justice, I’m very conservative. On social issues I’m very liberal.
Look, if you are consenting adults, it’s none of my business who does what to whom in the bedroom. Wear feather boas and bring in trampolines while blasting RuPaul and have an orgy for all I care.
But pizza is another matter.
And before America goes careening wildly off course into a Sodom and Gomorrah culinary downfall I must speak up.
It has come to my attention thanks to Jeremy Schneider of NJ.com that in a small pizza shop in Sussex County serving cold pizza is catching on.
In Sussex County! A county Trump carried in 2020 by almost 59%!
Look, cold pizza is beyond the pale. There’s snowflake liberalism and then there’s outright moral anarchy. Serving pizza cold and not as God intended has brought us to such a brink today.
According to Schneider, the culprit is Carmine’s Pizza in Netcong. As part of some foodie event a food blog was involved with, Carmine’s was recently serving a slice of pizza with cold cheese thrown on top.
Now granted, the entire slice wasn’t cold but this is like a gateway drug. And granted, this was for an event and isn’t on their regular menu but as Schneider points out, if you ask for it you know they’ll comply now that this unholy Rubicon has been crossed.
Will it be long before other pizza joints follow suit then carry it further and serve entirely cold slices of pizza?
This is no joke! It upsets the natural order of the universe.
People who eat cold pizza straight from the fridge need to have a psychiatric exam. It is not OK to eat pizza cold. Dare I say it’s even worse than eating it with a fork or at the very least on par. If we accept a world where cold pizza is OK then anything is OK. And if anything is OK then nothing is OK!
If this catches on in a red county like Sussex I’m willing to go so far as to ask them to secede from the state. Go be part of New York if you want to engage in such perversion.
Cold pizza is not funny. It’s not cute. It’s not OK. Is it our own fault? When pineapple found its way into pizza years ago good men did nothing. We sat by as pizza covered in chocolate became a meal that identified as a dessert.
We cannot sit by and let cold pizza become normalized for our next generation. I will lead this fight. You either stand with me or you’re part of the permissive problem.
This ends now!
Wouldn't a hot fork burn your lips? :0)
Wow. SERVED cold? Now, I’m in Chicago, where we have some of the best pizza ever, and this would not fly around here. It’s one thing to pull it out of the fridge at midnight, but another entirely to serve it cold.
Shame.
I suspect that cold pizza isn’t a new phenomena in New Jersey. Cold pizza for breakfast has been a staple food group for college students since at least the sixties.
It was for me until I got my first microwave.
I did that yesterday for the first 2-3 bites.
Personally, I really like cold pizza, usually for breakfast. Some pizza is better cold. Others are truly no good cold.
Given the choice, I’ll prefer hot and can’t imagine anyone buying cold pizza on purpose.
Cold pizza is a delicacy!!!!!
especially when paired with Beer.
I’ve topped leftover warm pizza in the am. with a scrambled egg...it was actually a yummy breakfast....
I read a tweet that said, if I owned a pizzeria, I would open for breakfast and sell the cold pizza leftover from the night before. Sounds ingenious to me.
“People in Pittsburgh eat leftover cold pizza all the time.”
Leftover Vincent’s Pizza, left overnight on the corrugated cardboard it came on, made a wonderful breakfast when I was younger.
The cardboard was translucent by then.
http://www.vincentspizzapark.com
Breakfast Pizza is a dish best served cold. As an NJ resident of Italian descent I’ve eaten pizza both cold and reheated all my life. Even as a late night snack cold pizza rules.
Don’t reheat it in a microwave as it turns the crust into rubber. Use the oven which works best. Even better if you also have a pizza stone. ;-)
Same here, but - that’s different. Leftover cold slices are totally fine and standard staple for post-party or college dorms. However - Serving it like such at an establishment IS sacrilegious - just sayin’... /S
Almost like when I went out to California back in the ‘80’s on first business trips and ordered an Italian sub - and got yellow American cheese, bologna and mayonnaise on it. Yech!
Same here. And I concur on all points.
I love cold pizza, especially if it is from the previous night.
I tell nervous female flyers sitting next to me that any plane landing is like an orgasm; some are better than others but they’re all good. Pizza is the same; even cold it’s good.
Cold Pizza is why God invented the microwave.
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