Omicron – a Musical Tribute

I haven’t abused any old song lyrics lately, but couldn’t resist the urge in such a target rich rhyming environment. (long fade out chorus of original omitted).

Omicron
(to the tune of Kodachrome. Sorry, other Paul)

When I think back on all the crap we’ve heard from Fauci,
Has he ever told the truth at all?
And though your lack of vaccination hasn’t hurt you none,
There’s a bug that’s coming for you all.

Omicron,
They give us a new mutation,
Give us some more fat profits,
Make you think all the world’s in disarray, oh yeah.

I got a grant from Pharma,
I love to fake the COVID graph,
So mama don’t take my Omicron away.

If you took all the dough we got from Uncle Sammy,
And put it all together in one pile,
I know ‘twould never match Old Tony’s compensation,
Everything looks worse with TV lights.

‘Twas the night before Omicron
and all thru the nation
The head of the Institute of Health
was drooling in bated anticipation,

The sheeple were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of variants danc’d in their heads,
And Mama in her facemask, and I ready for lockdown,
The tube showed a preview of CNN interviewing the COVID clown.

The walls reflected an image of an eerie electronic glow;
As I looked up at the screen, of the failing ratings show;
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a minature government troll, with fellow rackateer,

He was a little old conniver, so slimey and slick,
I knew in a moment I was going to be sick.
Like flies to beagles his sycophants they came,
And he bristled, and shouted, and call’d them by name:

“Now! Pfizer, now! Moderna, now! J and J,
“On! Adults, on! Children, everyone! everyday!;
“Masks outdoors and indoors and in every hall!
“Now vaccinate! vaccinate! vaccinate all!”

As his illogic and fascism in the inteviews fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the house-top the rhetoric, it flew,
“Everyone needs to get vaccinated, and get their boosters too!”:

And then in a twinkling, I heard from the doof
The dancing and speaking of each little goof.
As I thought in my head, his reasoning unsound,
Thoughts of this fools arrogance, in my mind did abound:

He posed smug in STYLE, from his head to his foot,
And his rep was all tarnish’d thoroughly and caput;
His circling logic put him square on his back,
Very typical for a bureaucrat and political hack:

His eyes - how they squinted! his outlook so dreary,
The rules he pro-po-sed! his nose longer than Lake Erie;
His lying little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
when propagandizing the vax side-effect rate is low;

He sneered before Congress and lied thru his his teeth,
Gain-of-Function was something he said he never bequeathed;
He had a bunch of excuses, while I watched on the tele
Sen Paul just laugh’d, as the troll justified being Machiavelli:

He was self-rightous and senseless, as tall as an elf,
And I laugh’d when I saw him in spite of himself;
Although thoughts of “15 days to slow the spread”
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

He spoke lots of words, and went straight to his work,
Making no sense at all; then acting like a jerk,
And pointing his finger at those unvaxed watching the show,
Near the end of the segment, prior to receiving more dough,

He preached his commands, to his team he dog-whistled,
And they all nodded their heads, like drones whose carrers’ have fizzled:
“Vaccinations for all, herd immunity is just in-sight
And to all we’ll get through this, next year we just might!”

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