Why not drink ranch nog? Because there are just some things you just don’t do. If I want egg nog, I want creamy and eggy goodness with a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg — just like Mom used to make. There is no place for ranch there. Ranch is what I put on my salad sometimes. You know how you have eaten something countless times and it always tastes the same way and you like it and then someone comes along and decides to do something weird with it? There’s that moment of confusion and, no matter how “good” the changed item might be, it’s not what you expected. I have eaten country fried steak with cream gravy in diners and truck stops all over the country. One time I got it for lunch at the company cafeteria and the “chefs” decided to put garlic in the cream gravy. No, that doesn’t belong. That’s what ranch nog sounds like to me.
I could go for a chicken fried steak right now drenched in country gravy with some fries!