Defying a court custody order is about the stupidest thing a parent can do.
A poor choice of attorney on my part cost me custody of my kids 26 years ago. Because I knew the nature of my ex I decided to bide my time until I could mount a counter attack. I was only allowed to see them every other weekend and split holidays.
Knowing she was wanting to go out and hit the bars I offered to watch them on Tues. and Thurs nights and bring them back to her house around 9:00. That lasted for about 2 weeks when she wanted me to keep them overnight. I also offered to take and pick them up from school every day which she agreed to. So, I kissed her ass for three years but got to see the kids every weekday and have them stay with me twice a week on school days.
She got married and the new husband enjoyed the schedule. When she took a good job offer with a 200 mile round trip daily commute I filed for a change in visitation to reflect the Tue, Thurs schedule. She didn’t fight it and that is the way it stayed until the kids were grown enough to make their own decision which her husband fully supported. (he liked them not being in his house)
Conclusion, It is hard to be a parent and doubly hard to be a decent, divorced parent. Thank God the owner of the company I was with had gone through the same thing and allowed me a reduced work schedule with the same salary as full time.
And the Kids? One son moved in with me to help take care of my father for the last 7 years and started a biz with his brother that has become wildly successful. The brother lives 3 hours away. The last time I was at his house he had at least a dozen photos of us doing stupid stuff when they were little on a shelf in his office. After I saw that I looked in every room and there is not one photo of his mother in the house.
The time and sacrifice you put in when they are young pays big dividends when they grow up.
Good for you! My daughter would move to Texas, where her company is headquartered, in a New York minute, if her ex husband would agree to it. Fortunately, they allow her to work from home on the days she has her 9 year old son, and travel on the days he’s with his dad. Of course, it’s his grandparents who spend the time with him, since the dad often can’t be bothered. (Except for that “quality time” he spends with his son, watching R rated movies til late at night on school nights).