NASA scientists say he burned another hole in the ozone layer.
The scientific community is advocating nitrile-rubber underpants connected by a neoprene hose to a five-gallon activated charcoal filter with an electronically triggered igniter to burn off any tailings before they escape containment.
I think a direct burnoff would be more spectacular. Take him to the Bonneville salt flats, strap on some roller skates and try to set a record.