Posted on 09/28/2021 4:19:10 AM PDT by sodpoodle
1. *AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking the intelligence
2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'
3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. *THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. *DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'
6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'
7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket!!!
8. *THE GRAND FINALE! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
*Now remember, these are all true stories and these people vote and have children!
😁
😂🤣😂🤣
#5 had me laughing.
And probably vote democrat
Thanks for the daily fix. Now I have to go out into the world which is filled with these people. Lord help me.
I looked up #1 and yes, it’s true.
I heard a story about a person who voted Democrat and then expected things to get better. “Stupid” doesn’t even cover that scenario.
And they fired Bob Allen to hire Walters. No idea what the gave Allen.
“Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.”
Back in 2010 in Appomattox, Virginia, an elderly woman died suddenly of old age.
When her son, who had been living with her, called his sister who lived out of town her family dropped everything and headed to Appomattox.
On the morning of January 19, 2010 a man driving down the road found a man bleeding from gunshot wounds laying in the road. He called the police.
Police discovered 7 other victims, all deceased. The old ladies son was missing. Neighbors had seen him running into the woods with a rifle.
A manhunt involving over 100 cops and the state police helicopter ensued.
On the afternoon of the 19th the helicopter was forced to land when the man they were hunting shot at it and ruptured the fuel tank.
Having him cornered in the woods the cops decided not to go into the woods with the sun setting.
The next morning the man they were hunting walked up to police and surrendered.
What wasn’t reported was that he had SPENT THE NIGHT IN THE HOUSE after sneaking through the police line.
I know the man who was Sheriff at the time and he would have definitely squashed that bit of news.
BOOKMARK
Thanks for the laughs!
“There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe,
and it has a longer shelf life.” – Frank Zappa
9. Build Back Better
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