A turtle is walking down the street when 2 snails overtake him and pull guns and rob him.
The police show up and ask the turtle "Oh my goodness, are you okay". The turtle responds "yes, yes I'm find".
Police: Well, tell us what happened.
Turtle: I just don't know, it all happened so fast.
Heres a good turtle joke for them.
A turtle is crawling slowly slowly across the jungle floor, when he comes to a big tree. The turtle terrifled looks up at the giant tree and takes a gulp and slowly but slowly climbs up and up and up the tree, until he gets to the top branch and crawls out to the end of the branch and then slowly flapping his arms he jumps and down down down he falls to the ground with a thud.
When he wakes up, the turtle slowly crawls across the jungle floor until he comes to the same tree. He looks up at the giant tree, takes a gulp and slowly climbs up and up the tree until he gets to the top of the tree, then crawls out to the top branch, and at the end of the branch, slowly flapping his arms he jumps and down down down he falls to the ground with a thud.
When he wakes up, he again he starts crawling across the jungle floor and again heads back to the giant tree. There were two birds sitting on a branch on another tree watching all this. And one bird turns to her mate and says “Dear. I think its time we tell him he’s adopted.”