The meme is funny.
Your situation is not.
We have a problem with ticks so when I go out, I suit up.
I have a pair of pants I have treated with Permethrin, and a shirt from Insect Guard. I put on a layer, pull my socks over my pants cuff. Then put on the treated clothes, and tuck the pants legs into a pair of rainboots I use for gardening, and have net that goes over a hat to keep the bugs from dive bombing my face.
But it seems to work even though I sweat like a pig in the get up if it’s above 70. I just don’t go out in the middle of the day. It’s too hot and the bugs are too active.
Morning or evening is it for me.
Do you have a pond or standing water? There are tablets you can buy at places like Runnings that are a bacteria the targets the mosquito larvae. But you need standing water. We have a pond but it’s being fed from up hill and drains out so it’s always fresh.
The dragonflies just made their appearance the other day, so I’m hoping that will quell the bugs some.
We have a creek but no standing water. Just days of heavy rains and maybe 3 hatchings in a row. Fortunately we can see everything through a window and everything looks great, got a soaker hose last week.