My parents divorced quite amicably and I grew up never hearing phrases like "child support" or "custody" or "weekend visits". They encouraged my relationship with each other and even each other's new spouses. I wound up living with my father more than my mother, but visiting my mother a lot more than just every other weekend. There were times my father would drop me off at my mother's and my step-father would holler out to my father to come in for a visit and drink a beer. When my mother would take me clothes shopping every year there would come a point where she'd make sure I'd see the cash in her billfold and tell me that my father gave that money because he loved me. Then I'd get home ("home" being my father's house) and my father would tell me that my mother took me clothes shopping because she loves me.
Then I grew up, got married, had a couple of kids, and wound up divorced simply because I refused to move to live in whatever town my in-laws moved to every time they moved. My ex decided that was reason for divorce and that divorce meant total war. I can sing the same song many men sing about having to go to court to have visits with my kids, my kids being taught I send no child support, that I'm abusive, that I'm everything but a Democrat voter. Sometimes I'd counter it with proof that they were told lies. But usually I'd change the subject to make the visit enjoyable.
Then I got custody and my ex had to pay child support. Trust me, men don't get half as mad about that as women do, even though they rarely have to pay half as much as men. I thought my ex fussed before, I hadn't seen nuthin' yet.
One of the requirements I had for a new wife is that she didn't get into all of the drama and that she encourages love even when ex's don't. So the kids in our blended family got to focus on loving God and others most days and let the drama teachings occur only in the limited times they're with their other biological parents (and unfortunately sometimes grandparents). Even when I had to file motions to get the court to force my ex to pay child support (including things like garnishing tax refunds), my kids never heard about it from me. Eventually each one of the kids reached an age where they realized the drama they heard from their other biological parents was as much BS as when Democrats say they'll raise taxes on only the rich. They also apologized for believing evil things about us and promised to do like my wife and I do. I've heard each one of them on separate occasions during visit swaps when their biological parent (either my ex-wife or my wife's ex-husband) would stir up drama and the kid would tell them they didn't want to hear any of that immature bullcrap because they're ready for a visit, not drama. And all of the kids grew up having an eye for people like me or my wife (the son/step-son wanting a woman like my wife, while daughter/step-daughter wanting a man like me). I truly believe it was because doing things God's way first leads to God blessing you so others, especially your kids, can see how will it works putting Him first.
Because I represented myself in court from the point I won until the kids were grown, I had to get into the ins and outs of how child support is calculated. Before that I wasted way too much money going broke paying for attorneys to pretend to represent me but not really.
This is not directed at you but I’ve grown beyond the need to qualify my observations and experiences when I wrote or so them
White Christians have been as browbeaten to do that same as southern women always say “I’m sorry “ for any minor infraction
I’ve trained myself to refrain from “men are just as bad” or “I’ve got black friends”
If one criticizes blacks or liberal Jews or Latino voting habits etc here then one must qualify it by saying something positive or relative that affirms or exonerates or makes it relative
When one slams white Christians in particular southerners....no one ever qualifies but hey Johnny Cash was cool or maybe Billy Graham was ok u know...
I recounted my experience with divorce and child support and community property and alimony which all things being equal most definitely is stacked against the man....no question
And most white divorced dads do in fact pay child support but the numbers of blacks and Latino dads who are behind or don’t pay is staggering to say the least...most black men are at least six months late and nearly one third pay nothing
So yes there is obviously another side ...and it’s the usual suspects
My comely Jewish divorce lawyer lady ....in Miami ...I liked her no secret I confess she defended me like a warrior
She used to say
Women who don’t need it get too much and those who need it most get very little
What children need as much or more is their dad in their life especially boys need dads ...even more critically
This is why the black race is destroying itself and to a degree the host nation
Legions of black boys with no road map and no love from dad
Child’s need to feel love of parent is natures strongest emotion
Worst failure in American culture and only getting worse and spreading
Rant off and why I don’t qualify anymore my opinions