My friends has 2 girls ..One overweight and one thin..The father cherishes the thin one and can barely remember the fat ones name....He has brain damage from a car wreck 20 years ago,but it doesn’t lessen the sadness and humiliation the one daughter feels ..
She has been angry for the last 15 years of her life..She can’t seem to get over it since he makes a point to be around for the thin one..The mother has made a lot of effort to get him to include both daughters to no avail... I’ve seen what being unwantd can do....
I used to teach workshops to help therapists understand this concept.
During a workshop I did in Austin TX many years ago, a woman in her mid 50’s volunteered for a demonstration in front of a group. I walked about 15 feet from her, reached out and touched her memories stored in her soul of when she was in her mother’s womb. It knocked her off her feet, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stay standing.
I explained that in all my years, I had never met a person whose mother was so angry at the birth father, as her’s was when she was in her mother’s womb.
And further, that the rejection by her mother immediately after birth was off the charts severe as it knocked her over backwards every time I touched the memory.
She insisted on telling the group her personal story.
Her mother was violently raped and never knew who the attacker, her father was.
Further, her mother put her up for adoption immediately after she was born.
Fifty years later these perceptual programming events pre birth and immediately after birth were greatly impacting her life in a negative way.
We removed the emotional trauma in her soul in a few minutes and she was free of the shackles on her life.
This is why the research and publications on attachment and bonding by Bowlby and Ainsworth are critically important.
I did quite a bit of work in the gay/lesbian community. In over 95% of the many lesbians I worked with, the mother was angry at the birth father when pregnant with the now lesbian daughter.
Every event after conception influences the programming and development of the human soul.