A recently divorced man is walking along the beach after having lost most of his possessions to his ex-wife, trying to clear his head. He spots a bottle half-buried in the sand and picks it up and begins dusting it off. Out pops a genie (well, what were you expecting?).
“Thank you for freeing me from the bottle,” the genie says to him. “As a display of my gratitude, I will grant you three wishes.”
“Well, that’s the best thing that’s happened to me in quite some time!” the man says. “My divorce just became final, and my ex got almost everything.”
The genie pauses for a moment, then says, “I can still grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your wife will get twice as much.”
“Fair enough,” the man says. “My first wish is to have ten million dollars.”
“Your wish is granted,” says the genie. “But of course, your ex-wife gets twenty million dollars.”
“Okay, for my second wish, I want a new Mercedes-Benz,” the man says.
A new Mercedes-Benz suddenly appears in the parking lot nearby. “Your wish is granted, but your ex-wife now has two of them.”
The man then stands there quietly for a moment. “You still have one more wish,” the genie reminds him.
The man replies, “Yes, I know. I want to make sure it’s a good one.”
After thinking for a couple minutes, the man says, “I want to be beaten half to death.”
Ahapless fellow finds genie. Is told he has three wishes.
First wish “Be valued”
Genie turns him into bar of gold.
Second wish: “Come back to life.”
Genie turns him into a lettuce plant.
No third wish because “I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.”