Gah!
Posted on 03/25/2021 4:48:05 PM PDT by jonno
It definitely has been influenced by Barney and the teletubies maybe pink floyd and the animals. Not a tick. But it might be a spider.
Gah!
THIS is me:
When I was seven years old, I tried to crawl through a drainage pipe that went under a road. I could see the other side, so I thought it would be neat.
I wiggled my way in, and was about 15 feet in when I suddenly noticed the pipe was getting narrower. Next thing I knew, I couldn't budge forward, and could only wiggle slightly backward.
I was lying on leaves, twigs and junk, arms out in front of me, and turned my head to say something to my older brother who was standing outside, when I saw that a huge cobweb and got squished all over my neck and shoulder.
And stuck right in it, was a big, huge, Daddy Longlegs. Just like the one on the Johnny Quest cartoon. Staring at me, with that single (I thought) eye.
That pipe immediately became skin-tight and I began to scream and wiggle in a most horrible fashion. Somehow, my brother wiggled in behind me, grabbed me by the ankles and pulled me out.
Next thing I knew, I was running down the middle of a residential street, screaming loudly, jumping in the air and twirling in a way that would have made a professional figure skater jealous, all the while beating my head and shoulders madly.
Every single time I glanced back, like a dog with tin cans tied to its tail, that Daddy Longlegs was still there...bouncing around, just within my field of view.
My brother got it off me, and even though I do not remember how I knew, I somehow found out that damned Daddy Longlegs was a corpse stuck in the web. It was one of my most frightening childhood experiences.
To this day, I harbor an irrational fear when I feel or see one on my body. I cannot kill them...they ARE interesting, and I find them fascinating, but...they still bring out some kind of primal fear in my gut, if even for a fleeting fraction of a second if one is on me.
Another time, I was driving down the road at night, and...a little itty bitty spider begins to lower itself from the ceiling of my car...right...in front of my nose.
So here I am, driving down a twisty New England road doing about 45 mph, at night, and I am completely fixated on this spider about three inches from the front of my face...inching slowly down towards my crotch.
I cannot take my eyes off of it for a second to look at the road. Just as I was coming to grips with the situation, doesn't the damn thing just DROP and disappear into my lap.
I damn near wrecked my car. But I always wondered how my face looked to the spider...kind of fisheye distorted, bug eyed and crosseyed, with a great gaping black mouth slowly opening to reveal a waving uvula at the back of my throat as I yelled.
And all this isn't because I am squeamish...I lived in the Philippines, and they had dang near every variety of bizzare huge beetle with enormous mandibles like Tiger Beetles, Rhinocerous Beetles, and the prized and rare, Ox Beetles. They had lizards, geckos, snakes, monkeys, boars, monitor lizards and God knows what else...but it was only the spiders that freaked me out.
BTW...I DO know Daddy Longlegs aren't really spiders, and I DO know they are completely beneficial and harmless, but...still scary to me.
You won.
Hairy fred! https://youtu.be/FkMia7E-W9M
Excellent.
You should be writing and publishing short stories :-)
(My brother had a predilection for climbing into manholes and following them to where they let out into the creek. Drove me crazy when he’d prove where he was by sticking his finger up through the hole in a manhole in the middle of a busy road. As the big sister, I was supposed to be ‘looking out’ for him, and got blamed for every nutsy thing he did :-)
I remember checking in my shoes in the morning for bugs in the Philippines. Lol
Thank you!
Hahahhahaha...wasn’t he worried about getting his finger run over?????
Kids...:)
No. Little boys aren’t cautious, when they’re trying out their ‘manly’ skills.
They leave the distaff side to worry.
A few years back, I walked into my bedroom, and saw this HUGE bug that looked kind of like a mosquito on steroids. Its legs had a span of nearly three inches. I thought, "There is NO way I am going to bed with THAT frikking thing flying around the room..." I had visions of it flying into my snoring mouth, you know how that would be. I had NO idea what kind of bug it was, but is apparently called a Cranefly.
So, without taking my eyes off it, I groped for a magazine or ANYTHING I could whack it with. This was a killable bug. No mercy. I roll up the magazine, creep over and...WHACK! I MISSED the damned thing, when I was trying so hard not to miss. And then, don't I lose sight of it, and cannot find it. I had to get a BIG flashlight and hunt for it. After 15 minutes, I saw it again, and...WHACK! Don't I miss it AGAIN! It drops to the floor and disappears. SHIT.
Now, this is a MAJOR, DEDICATED bug hunt. I look for twenty minutes with no success, swearing and muttering the whole time. My wife is in the next room and thinks I have lost my mind.
Finally, with a sick feeling, I have to give up. As I put down the magazine, I feel something crawling on my leg, inside my pants. I roll my eyes at myself and tell myself "Get a grip. You are just feeling itchy, there is nothing there."
Then, a few minutes later, I feel something again, and I grit my teeth and silently say to myself "Good God. THERE IS NOTHING THERE, knock this crap off and get a hold of yourself."
As I am telling this to my wife, I feel something and "ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH! THERE IS SOMETHING THERE!" I rip off my pants, and sure enough, that damned big ugly bug had flown UP MY FRIKKING PANT LEG!
I know the old saying about keeping enemies close, but this was ridiculous. I then spent the next fifteen minutes hunting it down, and DID NOT MISS again.
I was over there for a few years in the Late Sixties...Subic...:) When were you over there?
I can’t get the image out of my mind of that pink finger coming up through the hole in the manhole cover...just as a car passes over!
It is so classic a thing for a kid to do that ends in disaster...
I, for one, welcome our new Arachnid overlords.
Karen?
Bugs. Kill ‘em all with good, old fashioned insecticide! Mwuhahahahahaha! ;D
Yep that’s him right territory also, they bite but not poisonous!!!
Fortunately his finger didn’t get run over; and after he’d enjoyed that experience, he moved on to others that were equally questionable.
But he grew up to be a very good man; so, as much as I might have resented all the worry he put me through, I have no complaints now :-)
The Recluse has a violin on its head. It’s not a Recluse.
You can tell a brown recluse. It has a violin shape on it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.