We southerners are supposed to use it every few words, and constantly worry that somewhere, some N-word isn’t being kept down. Fact is, we don’t use it all that much, never did, and really don’t obsess over black folk. Blacks and city dwelling northerners use it much more. Blacks use it as both a term of endearment as well as a pejorative. Blacks use it in public. It’s either a bad word, or it isn’t. People should get over this nonsense.
Only time I ever heard it used outside of a racist relative was in NYC and Boston. Never in the South. Never in the West.