Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to AOC (Sandy) at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was now on. The news crew was covering a story of
a man on a ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.
Sandy looks at Homer and said, Do you think he’ll jump?
Homer said, You know, I bet he’ll jump.
Sandy replied, Well, I bet he won’t.
Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, You’re on!
Just as the Sandy placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan
dive off of the building, falling to his death Sandy was very
upset and handed 20 dollars to Homer, saying, Fair’s fair.
Here’s your money. Homer replied, I can’t take your money, I saw this
earlier on the 5 o’clock news and knew he would jump.
Sandy replied, I did too; but I didn’t think he’d do it again.
Homer took the money.
John & Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon
quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out
on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
There’s a car being towed from the parking lot he shouted.
A few moments passed An ambulance just drove by. A few moments passed.
Looks like the Andersons have company he called out.
Matt’s riding a new bike. The Coopers are having sex!
Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed.
Dad cautiously asked How do you know they are having sex?
Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony too.
A 25-year-old Jewish girl tells her Mom that she thinks she is pregnant.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is in fact, pregnant.
Shouting and crying, the mother says, “Who
was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!”
Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Mercedes stops in front of their house.
A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and wearing a yarmulke steps out of the car and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them,
“Your daughter has informed me of the problem.
I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation but I’ll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.”
“Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in Miami, and a $1,000,000 bank account.”
“If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a $25,000,000bank account.”
“However, if there is a miscarriage, I’m not sure, what to do. What do you suggest?”
All silent at this point, the mother, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him, “So, you’ll try again.”
Please take me off your list.
These are crass, and worse, not funny.
and we are now stuck with this and the other idiots.
God help us
Lol