In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family
member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news, he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.
It’s an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance
will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked,
How much will a brain cost?
The doctor quickly responded, $5,000 for a Democrat’s brain;
$200 for a Republican’s brain.
The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to try to not smile,
avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity,
finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, Why is the Democrats brain
so much more than a Republicans brain?
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group,
It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans brains a
lot lower because they’ve been used.
A guitarist was having a lot of trouble finding work due to there being a lot of other guitarists in his local area, so he decided to audition for a spot as a bassist.
The band’s manager says, “Are you sure you want to play bass with us? I’ve heard you before and you’re really good.”
The guitarist replies, “I appreciate the compliment, but I just can’t find any gigs as a guitarist and I really need the work.”
The manager says, “Okay, you’ve got the gig, but on one condition. I know you won’t be happy playing bass, so before you accept, you need to have surgery and have a third of your brain removed.”
The guitarist thought about it for a minute, then said, “That sounds a little extreme, but I really need to be working. I’ll do it.”
So he goes in for the surgery, and after waking up the surgeon is standing at his bedside. “I have good news and bad news for you.”
“What’s the good news?”
The surgeon answers, “Your surgery was a complete success. There were no complications, and you should be fully recovered within a week.”
“Okay,” says the guitarist, “so what’s the bad news?”
“Well,” says the surgeon, “due to an error on your orders, we removed half of your brain instead of only a third.”
The guitarist says, “Okay, whatever. Got any sticks?”