1. My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.
2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round
crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.
I ate a pizza, are you happy ?
3. How to prepare Tofu: a. Throw it in the trash b. Grill some meat, chicken or fish
4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
5. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer
than men who mention it.
7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk
9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside
they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented.
I forgot where I was going with this.
11. I love being over 70, I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.
12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I
woke up and searched with him.
13. I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and
call it a day.
14. November 4, 2018 marked the end of Daylight Saving Time.
Hope you didn’t forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.
15. Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
These are hilarious! Thank you!
Some of us had to mow the shag with a reel mower when we were young! Uphill, both ways in the living room.