When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
And a pint of plain is your only man
There was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass
Not rounded and pink as you’d probably think
It was gray, had long ears and ate grass.
And
When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A pint of plain is your only man.