Prayer ping.
Sounds like you need some prayers.
I don’t know much at all about on-line docs. Sorry I can’t help more!
Contact your local hospital. They should have of primary care physicians. You need to be seen. Online telemedicine is generally reserved for established physicians. Additionally you need a physician licensed in your state.
If you are feeling this depressed please reach out to clergy or support groups. If you are thinking dark thoughts get to the emergency room
You need to be seen and any primary care doc has committed his or her life to helping. You have expressed the need for help but don’t do it online.
Be well
And the please for the love of God do not listen to the litany of nonprofessional advice you see about to get. You will see people attempting to practice medicine without a license and they are unqualified to help with the constellation of symptoms you have reported in your post.
If you send me a private response as to where city and state you reside in I can do some quick research snd point you the right direction.