I am very sorry for your wife’s condition and wish you and her the best, but I wanted to show why the grandkids will not be okay.
The grandkids will be fine. Are you concerned that your kids are not doing their job? That sounds like a “you” problem.
My kids are established and solid. They work hard and they are raising their kids right. I wish I was going to be around to see the grandkids grow up to run the world.