Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three
likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches
to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon,
gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up
very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more
attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of
golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money
on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times
the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in
a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because
she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with
the money he’d given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous
woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take
it so she said, Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to
this nice man next to us.
Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said,
Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.
A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, Come on kid. Make up your mind!
I was supposed to get off four stops ago!