One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife,
Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast.
Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!’
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let
such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
What the heck is this? he said to himself as a little dust cloud appeared
when he shook them out.
Cathy, he hollered into the bathroom, Why did you put talcum powder in
my underwear? She replied with a snicker.
It’s not talcum powder; it’s Miracle Grow!
A good old Alabama boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing.
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says,
What you gonna do with that. There ain’t no water deep enough
to float a boat within 100 miles of here.
He says, I won it and I’m a-gonna keep it.
His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife
and asks where his brother is. She says, He’s out there in his bass boat,
pointing to the field behind the house.
The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother in the middle
of a big field sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand.
He yells out to him, What are you doin’?
His brother replies, I’m fishin’. What does it look like I’m a doin’?
His brother yells, It’s people like you that give people from Alabama
a bad name, makin’ everybody think
we’re stupid. If I could swim, I’d come out there and whip your ass.