An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted
that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get
the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. Yes, Dad , what is it?
Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn’t go well,
if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start
bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say, you don’t look that old.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know
why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice
change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
it’s worse when you forget to pull it down.
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.
The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting
here years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us
realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that’s the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten,
or will eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for
years after eating it?”
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand,
and softly said, Wedding Cake.
LOL!
Lol