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Don’t let’s be beastly to the Germans
by Noel Coward

Don’t let’s be beastly to the Germans,
When our victory is ultimately won
It was just those nasty Nazies
Who persuaded them to fight
And their Beethoven and Bach
Is really far worse than their bite.
Let’s be meek to them,
And turn the other cheek to them
And try to bring out their latent sense of fun.
Let’s give them full air parity
And treat the rats with charity,
But don’t let’s be beastly to the Hun.

We must be kind, and with an open mind
We must endeavour to find a way
To let the Germans know that when the war is over
They are not the ones who have to pay.
We must be sweet, and tactful and discreet
And when they’ve suffered defeat we mustn’t let them feel upset
Or ever get the feeling
That we’re cross with them, or hate them.
Our future policy must be to reinstate them.

Don’t let’s be beastly to the Germans,
When we’re definitely got them on the run.
Let us treat them very kindly
As we would a valued friend
We might send them out some bishops
As a form of lease and lend.
Let’s be sweet to them,
And day by day repeat to them
That sterilisation simply isn’t done.
Let’s help the dirty swine again
To occupy the Rhine again,
But don’t let’s be beastly to the Hun.

We must be just and win their love and trust
And in addition we must be wise
And ask the conquered lands to join our hands to aid them,
That would be a wonderful surprise.
For many years, they’ve been in floods of tears,
Because the poor little dears have been so wronged
And only longed
To cheat the world,
Deplete the world,
And beat the world to blazes.
This is the moment when we ought to sing their praises.

Don’t let’s be beastly to the Germans,
For you can’t deprive a gangster of his gun.
Though they’ve been a little naughty
to the Czechs and Poles and Dutch
I don’t suppose those countries really minded very much.
Let’s, be free with them and share the BBC with them
We mustn’t prevent them basking in the sun
Let’s soften their defeat again,
And build their blasted fleet again,
Don’t let’s be beastly to the Hun.

Don’t let’s be beastly to the Germans,
When the age of peace and plenty has begun.
We must send them steel and oil and coal
And everything they need,
For their peaceable intentions
Can be always guaranteed.
Let’s employ with them and, sort of, strength through joy with them
They’re better than us at honest manly fun.
Let’s let them feel a swell again,
And bomb us all to hell again,
But don’t let’s be beastly to the Hun.