Not to downplay modern conflicts, but the great wars were awful, awful wars. My dad was in the navy in WWII and was present for some of the sea-to-land assault battles. Rarely, he would speak of them, and it was unfathomable. He was an LST driver, and during every assault, he was was only able to make one beach landing, and never made it back to the ship for another load of troops. His boat went down every time. He used to always say that he never understood how he survived while so many around him died. He died at age 51 from a service-connected disability.
My grandfather was also in the Navy during WWII, commanding a tugboat in Pearl Harbor after the bombing. He spent weeks clearing vessels so other vessels could navigate the waters.
He never talked about any of the horrors that he saw to me, though my uncles did.
He also never referred to the Japanese as ‘Japanese’ my whole life, and trust me when I say, he had a thousand other names that he called them.
My mother would get so angry, but she would never say a word to him, she knew better.