Roy Rogers was more than a movie and TV actor/cowboy. He really did run many head of cattle on his ranch with his wife, Dale Evans, a country western super star singer .
When he wasn’t filming, he’d get up early and work the cattle with his hired hands. Being a celebrity, he could afford expensive saddles, horses and, of course, hand-made boots. Now you and I might save boot like these for special occasions, but Roy wore these just like a daily pair. In fact, he just got a new pair of custom boots with wonderful stitching and his initials embroidered in the leather. They were works of art!
The first day he wore these boots, and with his day’s work done, he rode into the yard, tied up Trigger and took off his boots before entering the house for the hearty dinner Dale prepared. Hardly any sooner than he sat down for his vittles, there was a great commotion on the porch. Roy jumped up and ran to the window only to see a mountain lion grab up his new boots and brazenly run off with them. This did not stand well with Roy!
“Gosh darn it Dale! That dang cougar took my new boots. I’m going to get that gol darn thing! Hold dinner for me”, he said. Roy and his side kick, Pat Brady, saddled up and rode off into the sunset looking for the puma.
An hour later, he comes riding back into the ranch yard. There’s Dale, at the kitchen sink doing the night’s dishes, looking out the window, when she sees that large cat slung over the shoulders of Trigger and a happy Roy, with his new boots back. Being a gifted singer, (here it comes!) she sang out to Roy as he rode in “Pardon me Roy! Is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a
Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, “T-square, do your stuff.”
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle,
a square, and a triangle.Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,“Spreadsheet,
do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
“Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk,
got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a
drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, “What can your cat do?”
The Government Employee called his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”
Coffee Break jumped to his feet...Ate the cookies...Drank the milk...Sh*t on the paper...
Screwed the other three cats...Claimed he injured his back while doing so.
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions...
Put in for Workers Compensation… and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave…