[stylin19a]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt"
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me", and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have got disability too."
And then the fight started.

[Colonial35]

An Irish Priest was transferred to Texas.
He rose from his bed one fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day
and noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:
“Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
“And the best of the day to yourself. This is Father O’Malley at
St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and
would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’ yer lads to take care of the matter.”
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the accent,
thought he would have a little fun with the good Father, replied,
“Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Then, Father O’Malley replied,
“Aye, ‘tis certainly true;
but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first,
which is the reason for me call.”