I wish I could hug you in person!
My mother didn’t have much use for me.
She basically undermined me in every way possible
but it pales in comparison to what you went through!
We are twins as my mom never had use for me, and was abusive until I was the same size as her, 12yo, and I told her if she ever touched me again I would kill her.
She continued to do as much as she could to ruin my life as an adult. We had family get togethers and everything normal only because I wanted to see my dad.
But, my mom problems weren’t as bad as some people’s childhood, I had a dad that was kind and stood up for me.