As a side note, I have to wonder if all the Useful Idiots tearing up the country have been infected by some sort of brain-eating amoeba.
On to the subject at hand - I gardened for several years, and, upon reflection, did things that would have made an actuary have nightmares. I followed the maxim that one should plant 50 cent tomatoes in 5 dollar holes. I found that the easiest way to do so was to start them with a trowel, then lay down and scoop the loosened dirt out of the holes with my bare hands.
By the time I was finished for the day I usually looked like Pigpen, and I never thought that I should not scratch an itching proboscis. With all the loose dirt flying around I occasionally got a nugget in my mouth. Oddly, I don’t recall the fresh earth having any flavor.
Looking back, I can think of at least a dozen times that, had events turned out slightly differently, would have resulted in a permanent dirt-nap, although, at least under those circumstances I wouldn’t have to worry about brain-eating amoeba.