Replies

No kidding! I felt exactly like I was playing "Whack-A-Mole"...And you can just imagine, in a quiet barracks, the WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! sound of a boondocker had to be damned loud. I was no match for millions of years of evolution! Roaches. When I was at Jet School in Millington, TN, I should have known when my buddy and I checked into our room and opened our locker, mine had the inside covered in little magic marker roach silhouettes like fighter pilot kills on the side of a plane-and when you opened the door, the things would scurry in every direction! It reminded me of another bug related incident that happened about ten years ago- Kind of a funny story...I walked into my bedroom, and saw this HUGE bug that looked kind of like a mosquito on steroids. Its legs had a span of nearly three inches. I thought, "There is NO way I am going to bed with THAT frikking thing flying around the room..." I had visions of it flying into my snoring mouth, you know how that would be. I had NO idea what kind of bug it was, but is apparently called a Cranefly.

So, without taking my eyes off it, I groped for a magazine or ANYTHING I could whack it with. This was a killable bug. No mercy. I roll up the magazine, creep over and...WHACK! I MISSED the damned thing, when I was trying so hard not to miss. And then, don't I lose sight of it, and cannot find it. I had to get a BIG flashlight and hunt for it. After 15 minutes, I saw it again, and...WHACK! Don't I miss it AGAIN! It drops to the floor and disappears. SHIT.

Now, this is a MAJOR, DEDICATED bug hunt. I look for twenty minutes with no success, swearing and muttering the whole time. My wife is in the next room and thinks I have lost my mind.

Finally, with a sick feeling, I have to give up. As I put down the magazine, I feel something crawling on my leg, inside my pants. I roll my eyes at myself and tell myself "Get a grip. You are just feeling itchy, there is nothing there."

Then, a few minutes later, I feel something again, and I grit my teeth and silently say to myself "Good God. THERE IS NOTHING THERE, knock this crap off and get a hold of yourself."

As I am telling this to my wife, I feel something and "ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH! THERE IS SOMETHING THERE!" I rip off my pants, and sure enough, that damned big ugly bug had flown UP MY FRIKKING PANT LEG!

I know the old saying about keeping enemies close, but this was ridiculous. I then spent the next fifteen minutes hunting it down, and DID NOT MISS again.