Dude, it sounds like you really didn’t have a good time as a father.
My wife was sick and dying from cancer for most of my sons lives. She fought cancer for over 9+ years and was sick even before that with other health issues.
I did the best that I could and do the best that I can. I had little to no support from family and we as a household had many enjoyable memories. You take the bad with the good and make the best with what you have.
My (biological) son just graduated from high school and is already a college sophomore. He has more college credits than his half brother who mooches off of family and lives with them so that they pay his and his girlfriends bills.
Well that is a great explanation. My wife is fighting cancer as I write. I cannot imagine going through that with young kids. Hat tip to ya.