I should say, it’s the trustee making pertinent decisions (as prescribed by my FIL in the original trust).
Then, yup...it looks like they can make the decision.
I understand it’s difficult. But, your wife and you will just have to sit and “watch.”
I am not familiar with the trust set up, and in MA these things are not handled through trusts—those are financial tools. A durable Power of Attorney would be the tool here to make all decisions on behalf of the person. This would be combined with a Healthcare Proxy for medical issues.
In MASS is you are committed to a rehab, after three days is you are deemed competent, you can check yourself out.
The functions of trustee and guardian are distinct. Trustee runs the money, guardian of the person is more likely to be able to check him in or out of a facility. If there’s a need for guardianship, hire a really good Oklahoma probate/guardianship attorney.