Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newspaper office to pay for her husband’s death notice. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar per word and he remembered Pete and wasn’t it too bad about him passing away.
She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. So she wrote out the obituary, “Pete died.” The newsman took a look and said he thought old Pete deserved more and he’d give her three more words at no charge.
Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and changed it to: “Pete died. Boat for sale”.
A priest and a bus driver both died and went to Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where Pope St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door. There are about 50 acres of rolling hills with a little cottage on the knoll.
St. Peter turns to the priest and says “This will be yours for eternity. A perfect little cottage, right next to lovely pond, a lush little garden, and a library full of books.”
The priest says, “Thank you so much. This I shall enjoy!” St. Peter drops off the priest, goes back to the pearly gates and motions to the bus driver.
They hop in a stretch limo and go out the front door. There are about 500 acres of land, with mountains and lakes and rivers. There is a huge 200-room castle on one of the mountains, and a wishing well that makes wishes come true. St. Peter says “This will be yours for eternity. You can live in that castle with servants to wait on you hand and foot, and you can have everything you want.”
The bus driver looks and St. Peter and says “Well, now, don’t think I’m not grateful, but why am I getting so much more than the priest?”
St. Peter just laughs and says “You brought more souls to Heaven! When the priest preached, everyone fell asleep. When you drove your bus, people prayed!”