That is not surprising. My wife is still paying her daughters and SILs rent, car costs, and his tuition. They are both in their 30s. Of course the alternative is they could move in here (once I ran out of ammo.) So, coincidentally yesterday, DIL said they were thinking of buying a house rather than paying rent! When my wife got off the phone, I pointed out they can do what they want once they have the down payment and a job because the gravy train is out of fuel: no down payment, no cosign, no paying mortgages, NADA. I pointed out to her that she is subsidizing them with the intent they will become self sufficient when his latest career path gets going. When he graduates, his job pay will somewhat exceed our help plus benefits they get so in effect, he will get an income cut. Encouraging them that a house is right around the corner without assistance is not going to happen frankly because we cannot financially afford to keep this up without going into debt to do so. Perhaps I need get Dave Ramsey’s advice!!
I think Ramsey will tell your wife to cut off the support yesterday. They are old enough to succeed or fail on their own. Rice and beans, part time jobs and scramble for whatever they can do for income.
In my mid 20’s, we had a house and an infant. My job went away due to a reorganization.
I absolutely scrambled. Did odd jobs, handyman work, painted an apartment building etc. either of our parents could have helped and probably would have but we never even considered asking. That’s what being an adult is.
Cutting them off may seem hard but it’s the best and most mature thing your wife can do.