Hahahaha! One of my favorite movies!
FROM THE MOVIE SLAPSHOT
(Jim Carr interviews the Chiefs Goalie, Denis)
JIM CARR: Hi. Jim Carr again.
JIM CARR: Denis, I know that some in our audience don’t know the finer points of hockey. Could you tell them, for example, what is icing?
DENIS THE GOALIE: Well, icing happen when the puck come down, bang, you know, before the other guys, nobody there, you know. My arm go comes out, then the game stop then start up.
JIM CARR: I see. What is high-sticking?
DENIS THE GOALIE: High-sticking happen when the guy take the stick, you know, and he go like that. (HITS WITH GOALIE STICK) You don’t do that. Oh, no. Never, never.
JIM CARR: Why not?
DENIS THE GOALIE: Against the rules. You stupid when you do that, some English pig with no brains...
JIM CARR: Denis, what is slashing?
DENIS THE GOALIE: Slashing is like that, you know? (SLASHES WITH GOALIE STICK)
JIM CARR: Mm-hm. And there’s a penalty for that?
DENIS THE GOALIE: Yeah. And for trip also, you know.
JIM CARR: Oh?
DENIS THE GOALIE: Like that. And for hook like this. (HOOKS GOALIE STICK AROUND LEGS, THEN AROUND TORSO) And for spear, you know, like that. (HITS BUTT END OF GOALIE STICK INTO HIS MIDSECTION)
JIM CARR: Mm-hm.
All bad. You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes by yourself, and you feel shame, you know.
JIM CARR: Mm-hm.
DENIS THE GOALIE: And then you get free.
“Well I may be bald, but at least I’m not chickens__t like you!”