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Behold the new American Soviet Justice system:

We accuse you of a crime. Someone who knows somebody who knows something said you did it.

But I am not guilty and have done nothing of the sort of thing I am being charged with.

Well, that only makes you seem guiltier. Besides, even though we don’t have any evidence at this time, the charge is so serious, we must investigate.

I’m hiring a lawyer.

Fine, but we are taking witness testimony, in secret and your lawyer ain’t welcome. Moreover, neither are any witnesses who could exonerate you.

I demand to be able to face my accuser!!

Sorry, your accuser is anonymous and protected. We can’t ha e them face injustice!! Besides, we have other witnesses who heard from someone that you did if. Also. It’s is the opinion of some very learned people that you did it.

That is hearsay and opinion.

That is much better evidence than any of that direct stiff, Really, you have a problem with the facts of your obvious guilt. And even worse, by hiring a lawyer and defending yourself you have obstructed your guilt.

I demand the opportunity to defend myself.

Sure, we’ll give you a trial. But first we are going to leak the facts of your guilt. But you really can’t offer any defense. Where are your witnesses that we didn’t let you call? Where?

But I can poke holes in your case. And what happened to the original crime I was charged with? I am being charged isn’t what?

Obstructing your guilt and whatever else we can throw against the wall. In the meantime, we just heard from this guy who is selling a book and said I the past you didn’t do it but now he says you did.

No, no more witnesses unless I can call mine.

Fine, but if you manage to beat this wrap it will be illegitimate. Unless we get more witnesses to establish your obvious guilt, it doesn’t count, This whole thing was entirely unfair to us as you were obviously guilty.

Well, my lawyers proved your case was defective.

Speaking of your lawyers, they are now going to be charged with helping to obstruct your obvious guilt which is established,