Not blaming the 12 year-old at all. Just setting the ground rules for parental access.
Did the same thing with our kids when they headed off to college. We couldn’t access their grades online without their permission. We pointed out...”We don’t see your grades, we don’t pay your tuition.”.
yep. hubs had to move heaven and earth to find out if his estranged-by-his-ex daughter was still in community college (thus extending child support till age 24, wink, wink)
She dropped out in the first semester due to zero discipline instilled as a child by his alienating ex-shrew. It was quite challenging to find that out. She emancipated from child support shortly before the mandatory cut off of age 21.