Your post is funny and true for literate adults. For kids learning, they learn to speak using phonics. Their brains are wired that way. They learn to read with phonics quickly. Over time, they shift to a pattern recognition approach.
One of my grandsons is just two. We have a great video of him "speaking" to me at the dinner table. He gesticulates with his hands. He emphasizes some words over others. He speaks in complex sentences. He enunciates very clearly. And he can carry on for many minutes at a time.
The remarkable thing is that he is not speaking English. It's almost like he has his own language. The sound of it is similar to the main character in the movie "Nell". But in his case it is all self-invented.