The “mother” can’t do anything either without his agreeing to it...
You mean she has to stop putting him in a dress and calling him a girl?
My understanding is that this nasty bitch still has physical custody of the children, and so long as she has custody, she can do anything she wants to mess him up psychologically.
So far as i'm concerned, these children must be removed from her influence, and I would go so far as to say all contact with this loon must be severed.
I'm not sure the kid can recover now, because this bitch has been dressing him up like a girl since he was 3. He will probably be f***ed up for life.