“Thank you for calling Microsoft technical support! This is Shahandar, how may I help you?”
“Yes, my computer won’t start.”
“Please give me your name, 24 digit system registration number, and your birthdate.”
“Is that all necessary?”
“Oh yes, you will need this information when we wipe your hard drive clean and reinstall Windows!”
Wait. Wipe it clean??”!!
“Of course, you haven’t done this in the past 6 months, have you?”
......
... and so it goes.
You missed this part...
“Please go to nearest WalMart and buy three $100 iTunes gift cards, then call me back. I will be able to help you then.”