I’ll bet the thief shat himself when he unzipped and reached into his new find...
Many years ago I worked for a pointy-haired jerk technical manager.
Mr. Macho had an extreme phobia about snakes and lizards.
Once a little lizard happened to look him in the eye. Mr. Macho jumped back, left a shoe behind and shivered in a closet for a while.
I heard he is on disability for Crohn’s or similar.