To be fair, I would never resort to describe him as a chutney ferret, knob-gobbling rump ranger, Barbie hugging Broadway-showgirl tootsie-roll-eating lizard worshiper, post pulling, brown-wind-loving pole pushing vacuum-lipped anal warrior, or a carrot-swallowing poodle owning skipping little hotdog-eater, a chalk-licking lavender sniffing cheeky merry-monkey pole-vaulter, a cigar smoking giggling little donut-puncher, a Crisco-hoarding, rainbow-prancing, fuchsia puffed batty boy, a feminine-acting, stick-twiddling parade-marching ball-juggler, a gerbil-feeding flower sniffing rainbow-squatting, bottoms-up boy, a glitter-loving tail-tickling Cleveland Steamer pooftah, a ham-slamming organ grinder, a latte-swilling, boy-texting pump-a-loaf bread-boffer, a limp-wristed prancing knob-jockey , a loafer-lightening grass-tickling pounder of fudge, a merrily-hopping NPR-listening musical-favoring chin-trauma patient, a merry delicate lightly-prancing dress-favoring protein-burper, a pearl-necklace adorned tumblebunny, a petal-covered swishing basket-burglar , a pink-sequin-adorned squeeze-friendly rectum-flagellator, a quiche-slurping, glitter-coated nimble-dancer, a rose-sprinkling, first-chair rusty-trombone pole-vaulter, a rump-radar-pinging, butterbutt loving, feathered drag princess, a sibilants-pronouncing girl-drink-swilling fruity little balltender, a silent-screaming bed-bouncing pump-wearing butt pilot, a skipping lavender-scented pillow-biter, a skipping lavender-scented pillow-biter, a soap-dropping, spanks-wearing, cabana-boy-loving, turd burglarizing rug bumper, Hershey highway loving butt pirate, sodomite Sallys, polishers of floorboards, muff divers, or carpet munchers.
Well, don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel. (sarc off).