The Quantum Theory That Peels Away the Mystery of Measurement

Quanta Magazine ^ | 7/3/19 | Phillip Ball

[Bob Stone]

One day while out driving, Heisenberg was pulled over by a police officer for speeding.

The cop asked Heisenberg: “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg replied: “No, but I know where I am.”

[SunkenCiv]

Thanks LibWhacker.

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"As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clearheaded science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about the atoms this much: There is no matter as such! All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particles of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. . . . We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent Mind. This Mind is the matrix of all matter." -- Max Planck, The New Science

[Rebelbase]

"I have an interesting theory on this...wait, WHAT! My show has been cancelled?"

[Bob Stone]

Two neutrinos went into a bar.

Nothing happened - they passed right through.

[Bob Stone]

Two atoms were walking down the street. One turned to the other and said, “Gee you don’t look so good. Has something happened?”

“Yes,” the other replied. “I lost an electron.”

“Oh my gosh,” said the first atom. “Are you sure?”

The second atom said, “Yes. I’m positive.”