You point out the ridiculous inconsistencies and fallacies of liberalism. Unfortunately, the courts would not agree with your logical interpretation. You are a “Normal” and therefore not a member of a Protected Class. Maybe you’re a white guy, too. That’s the worst possible combination these days, a Normal White People. Today’s laws, rules, and regulations are meant for you and me.
In a pinch I could self identify a a half black half Muslim lesbian. Well maybe. Depends if I’m facing hard jail time. Butch lesbian so I can still hit on the pretty girls.